A Phone Call from a Temporary Hospital in Wuhan
故事 FM (Story FM) is a popular Chinese podcast featuring stories told in the first person by ordinary Chinese of various backgrounds. Humans of Wuhan is working with Story FM to translate stories that happened during the COVID-19 outbreak into English.
Editor’s note from Story FMIt has been nearly a month since Wuhan was closed off.During this time, we have contacted many of our listeners in Wuhan, hoping to know if they are healthy or not, if they are ok or not.On February 12, one of our listeners, Ah Nian, told us that all four members of her household were exhibiting suspected symptoms of the coronavirus. We immediately reached out, hoping to record this family taking fate into their own hands.We didn’t realize how far the situation would go beyond our expectations.During this time, every day at 8:30pm we would have a call with Ah Nian. This call became like a tree hollow, a repository where she could gather everything she saw and heard and give vent to all of her feelings that she could not release elsewhere.We created this program using three days of our conversations with Ah Nian. We invite you to also listen to Ah Nian’s story.
Original Article: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/__aZoC2ISj35gtnZOVen0wContributors to the original article:Storyteller: Ah Nian | Anchor: Kou Aizhe | Producer: Ye Bu | Voice design: Peng Han | Author: Ye Bu | Operations Manager: Yi ChenOriginal Post Date: 2/21/2020Translator: AmalyaEditor: Bella_Z
☎️The First Call: A Death CardHello, my name is Ah Nian and I am twenty-six years old.On January 19th, I took the high-speed rail to return to Wuhan for Spring Festival. After a few days, I started to have diarrhea and a high fever.After returning from Beijing, I didn’t go out. I didn’t think it was possible that I had pneumonia (Editor’s note: refers to pneumonia caused by COVID-19).My friends all reminded me that I needed to be careful, so I did an online health consultation. My results showed that I had the common cold and acute gastroenteritis.Then on February 6th, my grandmother started showing symptoms – she began vomiting and couldn’t keep down any food. My mother said that elderly people should be taken to the hospital, but by that point, the situation was already very serious. I was afraid. What would we do if she didn’t already have the virus, but became infected at the hospital?I decided to care for my grandmother at home. As of now, it seems that her illness isn’t getting worse.
A screenshot from the online health consultation for Ah Nian’s grandmother: “I am seeking advice for my 89-year-old grandmother. On February 4th she began to have a fever of 38.1 (Editor’s note: Celsius, equal to 100.58 Fahrenheit). On February 8th it was 37.9 (100.22 Fahrenheit). She took ibuprofen twice to reduce the fever. On February 5th she started vomiting, and since then she can’t keep down any food or water. She has previously suffered from gallstones and has had surgery to remove them. She also has high blood pressure. She has taken amoxicillin and Lianhua Qingwen (Editor’s note: a traditional Chinese medicine that has been recommended for the treatment of COVID-19), and wrinkled hyssop vital energy balls (Editor’s note: a type of Chinese medicine) (on an almost empty stomach). How should we treat her inability to eat and her vomiting? Thank you.”Afterward, my grandmother was completely unable to eat. The situation was really very serious, but my mother said, no matter what will happen, we must try. On the night of February 10th, my parents took my grandmother to the hospital, leaving me alone in the house.That night was truly unbearable. In the early morning hours, a bit after 3 am, my father called me: “Come quickly, you need to be checked, your mother and grandmother are both suspected of having the virus.”The moment I heard these words, I really felt as though everything before me was pitch black. It felt like something was falling from above, layer by layer weighing me down.After completing the CT scan at the hospital, I went to see my grandmother. She was on an IV drip with three bags of solution hanging above her. She was reclining in a chair, almost half-conscious, in a state of utter collapse. As she was sitting there, I heard her say, “It’s very cold here, very cold.” I took off my down jacket and draped it around her.Suddenly, she told me very intensely, “You put it back on! It’s very cold!” These few words pierced my heart, they were so hard to hear.I was so afraid that these would be the last words she said to me.The CT scan results showed that, except for me, everyone in my household had infections in both lungs, and their blood tests also showed inflammation. The doctors suspected they might have viral pneumonia. I had one lung with fibrosis, no inflammation—very mild symptoms.After a few hours, we successfully lined up for a Nucleic Acid Test (Editor’s note: Wuhan experienced a severe shortage of test kits and many patients passed away before they could be tested).For this test, you must enter a small, dark room, similar to the hospital’s injection station (Editor’s note: there’s usually a separate injection station in Chinese hospitals where nurses give injections. Some injection stations have glass walls separating nurses and patients. We are not sure what the test station described by Ah Nian looks like exactly, maybe something like this). There were two small holes on the injection station wall. You put your head through one of them, and the doctor on the other side sticks a long cotton swab into your nose. And not just that! The doctor will also turn the swab deep inside the nasal cavity near the cartilage, scratching a little bit. It hurt so much.
It felt as though cold air was going through my nasal cavity straight to the top of my skull. It was the first time in my life that I realized my nose has such a long space inside. “A winding path leads to a hidden spot” as they say. After about two or three days we were able to check the results online. Midday on February 13th, my father checked his results and saw that he was negative. He was so happy – he took a victory stance like he had just won an Olympic medal.I thought, if my father is negative, then I certainly won’t have a problem. I quickly glanced at the report on my phone and sent a screenshot to my family’s chat group, proudly writing, “Look, everyone, I tested negative.”After a little while, my father looked at me very seriously and said, “My baby girl, something is wrong. Why does the report you sent us say you tested positive ?” That was the first time I saw my father so despondent. He had both hands flat on the table propping himself up. He continued saying, “It couldn’t possibly be your results, it must be a mistake. We did the test together; we must all be positive.”Just the moment before, he had been certain of and excited about his results. Now, however, he’s insisting I’m not the one who tested positive: the sick one must be among the three of them. It was as though there was a death card that I had drawn, but they said, “No, this is not your card.”Everyone was wishing they were the ones selected by the death card.
☎️The Second Call: Patient No. 64I knew the day had come. The nucleic acid test results were ready. I went to the Wuhan Keting temporary hospital (Editor’s note: During the COVID-19 outbreak in Wuhan, 16 temporary hospitals were converted from public facilities to treat patients with mild symptoms during the outbreak. Wuhan Keting is one of them).Although my grandmother’s test had come back negative for the coronavirus, the diagnosis showed that she had acute pneumonia. She had been sent to the Huoshenshan Hospital to be treated (Editor’s note the field hospital built in ten days to treat patients of COVID-19 in Wuhan).My parents are also quarantined in different places, a family scattered in all directions.Almost everyone in the temporary hospital is facing their own problems right now. We’re all very close here, bound together by this difficult time (Editor’s note: Ah Nian is using a pun here: the second character in this four-character idiom originally means “disease” but refers to hardships or difficult situations in the idiom).Patient A: Don’t cry! What’s the situation in your home? I have five patients (of COVID-19) at home. There are four in her (Ah Nian’s) home.Patient B: I have a 7-year-old at home alone. No one is there taking care of him.Ah Nian: Don’t cry, this is something that the community must attend to. You should give them a call to file a complaint, or call the mayor’s hotline, or I’ll help you call.Patient C: Request help online now.Patient A: Be strong. At times like this, women are pillars of strength. Men don’t have the strength that women do, they fall apart quickly. Especially now, women have great toughness. Right now, my wife is the only one at home, so she’s taken charge of things. Before, I was the one who took care of most big things in the house, but now she’s become the backbone of our home, and you’re the same. You can’t fall apart now; you need to be strong.
My neighbor, an older woman, is in bed number 64. This morning her condition seemed to deteriorate. The doctor said she should be transferred to another hospital.Looking at her sitting still on the side of the bed, I had complex feelings, as though I had seen my own fate.She was delicate and pretty, with chestnut-colored curls, and a round face and eyes. Her beauty, however, could not conceal the changes that had appeared over time.Suddenly, she gave me a bitter smile and said to me, “They told me I need to be transferred to another hospital. It can’t be good, right? It must be that my condition is getting worse, right?”
I didn’t know how to respond. After a moment, she began to tell me her story.Her husband had a cerebral aneurysm that had been operated on a little while ago. Because she stayed by his side taking care of him in the hospital, she caught the virus.She also has a sixteen-year-old son. Her husband now has no one to take care of him. The three of them are stranded in different places with no way to reunite.What particularly gripped my heart was that she still had not fully explained the situation to her mother. Each day she had to pretend that everything was ok and tell her mother that everyone was safe and sound.“Could my mother go on if I told her?”I didn’t push any further questions, but she continued saying, “For now I won’t tell her. What if I can survive?”If you saw someone with such a look of utter despair, you too would not forget it.After she packed up her things, she laid on the bed just staring up at the ceiling. I didn’t know what she was thinking.After a little while, she pulled her coat over her face to hide her tears as she began to cry.Even as I witnessed her unrestrained tears, there was nothing I could do.Today I felt incredibly tired, so I just slept. When I opened my eyes, the bed next to me was empty.
All the information that had been listed above her bed – her name, doctor, condition, all of the information that had been listed – was now all gone.I had feared that everyone I knew would just become a statistic. It turns out that I’m confirmed to have the virus and now became a nameless number.This woman will also be reduced to some statistic. What that statistic is, I will never know.All I know is that she was bed number sixty-four.
☎️The Third Call: Grow up OvernightToday I finally saw the square dancing! (Editor’s note: square dancing in China is a bit different than in the US – it is a common daily activity that takes place in parks across China, to music that ranges from techno beats to old Chinese classics).At midday, the loudspeaker in the middle of the hospital started playing music, so we all gathered together. We started with some simple warmups. After just a few minutes I was exhausted.Afterward, when they began to do real square dancing, hot tears began falling from my eyes.I was especially amazed by a grandma standing in the center of the group. She came forward confidently, wearing coral pink, velvet pajamas, and taught everyone how to dance.
When people asked her questions like, “Do you know how to do the dance to this song?” she confidently flung back her head and answered, “I never pick the songs for my dances – I can dance to any kind of music.”At that moment I felt deeply touched. Although a mask covered her mouth, I could nonetheless see her smile. Even if the rest of her experience in the temporary hospital has been one of suffering, at this moment, she was incomparably happy.Truthfully, all I’ve heard each day I’ve been here is weeping. It is really quite miserable. I unexpectedly received a call from my mother. She said, “You should ask if you can be transferred to Houshenshan Hospital. Your grandmother doesn’t have much will to live. She is in much pain. She doesn’t want to live anymore.” My mother hoped I would come to take care of my grandmother.
After submitting my application for transfer to a nurse, my father called me.They had long known my grandmother’s situation but did not tell me. They thought if I knew I would definitely go to her [despite my own health].Huoshenshan Hospital is much more dangerous than temporary hospitals. My father said, “You cannot trade your life of twenty years for your grandmother’s life of ninety years.”Truth be told, I previously had a very utilitarian mindset. I thought, it’s a waste for a young person to trade their life for an old person’s, especially if the young person is a student of great ability. It’s not worth it.But when it comes to family, there is nothing to consider. There is no question of whether or not it is worth it.My mother faced great hardship. On one side her mother, on the other her daughter. She wanted to save us both, but she couldn’t.
She said, “Maybe she can’t survive this. If you go there, at least you can see her for the last time, and she can leave in peace in her heart.”Hearing your mother say something like this is like a knife through the heart. I wanted to go to Houshenshan immediately.Transferring hospitals, however, is not that simple. Not only did I need to be released from the temporary hospital, but Huoshenshan needed to have a free bed, and I needed approval from the authorities.I packed up my things, sat on my bed, and waited for them to call me for the transfer. I wasn’t called.My parents gave me a video call, and said to me, “You’re too young, your symptoms are too mild, you won’t be approved.”I started to become suspicious. I said angrily, “Is this a trick? You don’t want me to come?”My father said dimly, “Don’t get carried away, Huoshenshan is in short supply. Someone with acute symptoms has greater need of an empty bed here. They can’t allow two beds to be used to save just the life of your grandmother.”I think he was correct.Throughout all this time, I have felt that many things were correct. But why must they be so unbearable?There is much that hangs in the balance between selfishness and altruism. I know with great clarity what it is that I should do, but I will still have selfish inclinations.I pictured the moment when I had covered my grandmother with my coat. The scene stuck in my mind. Would that moment be the last time we saw each other?Today, while I was applying to transfer hospitals, I crouched on the floor and cried deeply. The woman next to me asked what was wrong. I briefly told her my situation.She said, “That’s not that bad. You know, my mother passed away yesterday, we are all in this kind of situation.”Of course, I couldn’t accept this. Suffering cannot be weighed and compared.However, you can understand that here, all of our emotions are like waves, there are highs and there are lows. A wave will come and that will make you wish you were dead. In the next moment, it could be as though you are standing amongst the square dancers, giving each movement your all.You cannot see the dancers’ grief.I hate that I can’t go to Houshenshan now, but I don’t want to bother the doctors and the nurses again. I also don’t want to cause my father to despair. Each decision is so difficult.In my parents’ eyes, I am still so young and small that I fit into the palms of their hands.But I am growing up in a painful way, not step by step, but by force, like pulling off the shoots of a tree to help it grow. It is the hands of time rushing me to grow up. It feels as though nothing is the same. My father’s words are usually rough sounding, but recently, he’s taken to sending us a red envelope with some money in our chat group every day. Each time he’ll include a warmhearted note that says something like:I love you; I hope that one day soon we will reunite.
On February 19th, Ah Nian received permission to be transferred to Houshenshan Hospital. Now she cares for her grandmother day and night.On the day she transferred hospitals, she wrote four words on Weibo: I’m not looking back.Ah Nian, we hope that you return safe, sound, and healthy. We’re waiting for you here in Beijing.
On March 29, we learned from Story FM that Ah Nian has recovered but her grandmother has passed away. May she rest in peace.
